Never Alone: Invisible and Alone

Chapter 2

Tony’s Journal Entry 1

I’m terrified. I cry, and it feels like the whole world is watching me, judging me. Every single tear that falls feels like a failure. Society is so hypocritical, and I’m scared of being seen as weak. Even my parents—who used to love me—now look at me like I’m something broken, something to be discarded. I miss being their little boy. The one they held in their arms, the one they whispered would always be safe. I miss the warmth of their hands wiping my tears, the promise that no matter what, I’d always be loved.

But now, I’m nothing but a disappointment. A failure.

Dad comes home drunk every night, and every night, it’s the same. His words slice through the air like a knife, blaming me for everything that’s wrong in his life. Yesterday, it went too far. He tried to hit me. Mom stepped in, but then they were fighting—shouting, pushing. I was forced into the closet, hidden away like some dirty secret. I could hear them screaming, louder and louder. It was like the world was collapsing in on me. My chest tightened, and the air grew thick. I couldn’t breathe.

I’m falling behind in school. The assignments pile up, but every time I try to focus, I hear the voices. "You’re not good enough," they whisper. "You’ll never make it." And then the tears come, uncontrollable. I try to wipe them away, but it only makes it worse. And when I cry, I hear their voices. Screaming at me. Telling me I’m weak. A failure. I don’t even have the energy to fight it anymore.

I don’t have anyone. No friends. Not a single soul, except Rio.

I hate seeing Mom get yelled at because of me. It’s like I’m the cause of everything falling apart. Like it’s my fault. I’m not their perfect boy anymore. I’m not their sunshine. I need to fix this. Maybe I’m just too dumb. Maybe I’m the one who ruined everything. I used to dream of becoming someone who could help people. Now it feels like a joke. I can’t even help myself.

At school, they call me a little girl. They say I’m a shame to the guys around me. They say I’m useless. Dumb. A waste of space. I used to dream of making a difference in the world. But now, that dream feels so far away.

I don’t even remember when things changed. When I stopped being their boy, their sunshine. All I know is, now I feel invisible. Every day, I feel like I’m just... vanishing.

Dad came home drunk again. Yelled at me again. Told me I ruined everything. And for the first time, I didn’t even try to defend myself. What’s the point? He doesn’t see me anymore. He doesn’t love me.

I want to be stronger. I want to be someone they can be proud of. But I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop breaking down. Maybe that’s why they don’t care. Maybe I’m too weak to be worth anything.

I hate school. I hate being around people. Everyone feels like they’re staring at me, judging me. I don’t fit in. It’s easier to stay quiet, to hide in the shadows.

Everyone says I should be tougher. That I should act like a man. But I can’t. I don’t know how.

Sometimes, I wish I could just disappear. Run away. Get away from all of this. Maybe then, I wouldn’t be a disappointment. But I know I can’t. I just feel trapped. Alone. Like the walls are closing in.

I don’t know how to fix this. How to fix myself. But I don’t want to give up. Not for Rio. Not for Mom. I just... don’t know how to make it stop.

-Sheeza

P.S. Hey everyone! I'm really happy that you enjoyed the previous chapters, and I’m excited to continue this story. I plan to post new chapters every day or every other day at 12 PM (PKT). If anything in this chapter resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story. Feel free to reach out via email (listed in my profile) or share your thoughts in the comment section below. Your feedback means a lot to me! Chapter 3 will be up tomorrow at the same time. Can't wait to hear what you think!

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